What do people see when they look at me…?

If I robbed a bank, the police report would note the white hair, the wrinkles. They say “old.”

Until I open my mouth.

I am frequently perceived as younger than my age. Because I swear? Because I stand straight? There are tremendous misconceptions about old people. We are assumed to be either senile, incompetent or only good for babysitting (though if we are so befuddled why would you trust us with an infant?). I know many such elders who are condescended to as sweet or simpleminded. Some of us are; some aren’t.

I read obituaries (another habit of old people). They are usually written by their children and they are infuriatingly insipid: “She loved her grandchildren.”

Duh.